The Upsize Survival Guide to Holiday Breakups
The most awaited season is here but unfortunately, somehow, you and your partner called it off a few days just before Christmas.
We don't want you to be sulking in sadness and misery now, would we? No matter how tempting it may sound, we advice you to not curl up inside your adult pillow fort and bawl your eyes out until Christmas eve.
You've gone your whole life surviving a bunch of challenges. We don't see how this is any different.
But you have the right to be sad. Go ahead but we'll not let this go on for long.
Here's our survival guide to holiday breakups:
1. Allow yourself to sulk - but don't let it last so long.
This season is all about sharing. And hopefully, you'll think twice about sharing your negative vibes to everybody. You will be having dinners with several people and just because you brought two bottles of wine to share doesn't mean they won't be seeing the sadness in your eyes (you'd probably end up downing one bottle anyway, so it's pretty obvious - don't).
Feel free to be sad. Give yourself time. Breathe. Then move on. It's life - unfortunate things happen to make it more colorful.
2. Don't procrastinate.
It may feel so good to cry over photos and gifts with sentimental value from your partner but don't let it happen for more than a week.
Give yourself three days max to cry your heart out and binge watch rom-coms while eating a whole cake. That's it.
Close that door immediately and open a new one where you can find peace. Cancel all plans and reservations. It's refreshing to start anew.
3. Get together with your BFFs.
You do not have to fly solo. Also, you partner isn't the only person who loves you in this world. Call your friends and bring them to your gatherings. They're most probably much more fun of a company than your ex anyway.
4. Prepare for the questions.
Family reunions - if your family knows about your relationship, then most likely there will be questions you can't even try to dodge. Prepare for a press conference of nosy relatives and arm yourself with witty answers like, "he/she just didn't measure up". It's really none of their business anyway.
5. Go on a one-woman/man adventure
This is the best time to enjoy that much-awaited alone time. Experience watching a movie in the cinemas alone. Go stargazing alone. Drink alone in a bar. Dine in a fancy restaurant on a table for one. Go shopping. Travel. There's just so many things to experience!
Alone doesn't have to be a sad word. In fact, it's empowering because you just have to be strong enough to be able to do things without depending on anybody else.
6. Help out
The holidays are all about thanksgiving and sharing. Go and find a charity or foundation that supports your cause and volunteer or donate!
One of the main reasons why you could feel a deep void in your heart after a breakup is because a big chunk of love or a big part of you has gone away. Nothing to be sad about though - you are the world and the world is yours. Embrace it and let all the love from helping others fill your heart.
7. Rebound (If you must)
Knock yourself out with a holiday hookup. We're hoping that you're old enough to know your responsibilities. But if just hanging out in your pajamas with your best friend is more your thing, go do that too.
Trust your instincts on this one. Allow your emotions to calm down and while you're at it, just enjoy some company.
8. Psych yourself
Just to shake you back into reality, love, along with all the other emotions you feel, are formed in the mind. Your heart doesn't have anything to do with it because the only function of your actual physical heart is to make sure you're alive by pumping blood around your body.
The brain is simply so fascinatingly powerful that it named itself. This means that all the drama you feel and negative emotions that you developed are all formed in your mind. Control it.
Music has always been an effective and accessible psychological therapy. Listen to happy music. Dance and sing to it. Allow it to enter your mind and listen to every bit on instrument playing on the background. Set a playlist for happy activities so that whenever you'd listen to these set of songs, you'll feel happy.
Try meditating. Your mind is cluttered with your worries and anxieties of the breakup as well as several information every second of every day and this makes you not only not think well but also not feel so good.
Meditate in the once in the morning and once at night. Breathe. Relax. Listen to some music to help you clear your mind and concentrate.
9. Start a power journal
Note that we said start. The goal is not to finish, but start.
Breakups make us feel so bad about ourselves because it usually leads to us thinking that we are not enough. That we are unworthy. And that is where we're always wrong.
Write a power journal. It does not have to be perfect. It's only for you - make it real, authentic, and true.
Tell your journal why you think your relationship didn't work. Write about the things you like and don't like about your partner. Write about the things you like and don't like about yourself. Jot down why you are you - what makes you strong? What makes you weak? How do you imagine yourself in the next few months? What do you really want to do if you didn't have to worry about anything else?
Take note of these slowly everyday and watch how you blossom again like a spring flower as you realize that hey, you're not as bad as you thought you were.
Learn to love yourself.
10. Remember that you are not alone
You have your family, friends, and us!
Most importantly, remember that more than half of the world's population are single people. You are not alone, sister! The world is your playground so go be the free spirit you were always meant to be.
You don't have to worry. We got you.
Queens all the way!